May Your Thanks Keep Giving...

This year. Sometimes I don't know that I have words for this year, but the truth is I do, and what may seem odd, is that those words are not all bad.

This year our family has experienced tsunami's of grief.

Some days it is like we are underwater and almost have to force ourselves to breath, though breathing should be an involuntary action.

Some days the tears come without provocation.

Some days the peace is so thick we can't help but close our eyes and breath in its existence, like the smell of your favorite dessert cooking.

Some days the joy you feel for those you love getting their life long dream, puts a pep in your step.

This I know, no matter the trial, there is hope. There are memories that can't ever disappear. Those memories are precious even if most of them make you tear up if you even begin to ponder the tiniest one.

I have found that one of the hardest things that I get to experience here on earth is watching those you love hurt. Even during 2 cancers, 5 surgeries, chemo and 35 radiations, the hardest part was watching the pain in the eyes of those closest to me. Knowing that I have just one fool proof solution to ease their pain- directing them to the arms of the Father, was where I found solace.

I see that same type of pain now in the eyes of my children and my husband as we mourn and rejoice the fact that Nana and Pappy moved to heaven this year.

I see the same type of pain in the eyes of my children and husband as we watch the children we love and care for make decisions that hurt them and those around them.

Grief is rich- like that piece of decadent chocolate cake, looks good but your body says no and you just can't choke it down. Grief is also not something you get over, rather it is something you walk through. Together is better.

I say all of this, because knowing the pain I see in the eyes of those I love most, we still wouldn't trade the opportunity to love. When you love big you can hurt massively.

We shall forever be thankful for the memories and thoughts of our loved ones. Thankfulness fuels the soul and warms the heart.

May you make space to ponder what you are thankful for each day.

May you make space to love BIG, knowing hurt may come.

May your thanks keep giving you warmth and joy.

Psalms 34

Psalms 106