Can You See Me? Visit Day..

Today is visit day. We made sure to get up before they did to help the morning be as stress less as possible (as if that is possible in their little worlds). We spent the last few minutes before the social worker came pretty much in silence letting them sit on us in awkward, ergonomically challenging positions hoping their little hearts would be wrapped in our love as they beat rapidly. Their little minds are hoping they will be coming back to us but their hearts feel scared and guilty because they know this isn’t how it was suppose to be. The pains that bounce around in their heart ask is it possible to feel safe and secure?

Our minds are racing all the while our hearts are grieving. Do they even know what safe and secure feels like? How can we give them some sort of taste of security? Maintaining connection in the reunification process is so important. How can something some important feel so hard.

As they load into the vehicle, one of the sweet kiddos asks us to time how long he is gone for because he is coming back. We assure him that we will be waiting for him. Each minute of the scheduled two hour visit seems like an hour. We never knew your heart could feel so many intense motions, all the while our brains remind our hearts that this is good for them…