Adoptive Momma’s Heart Entry #447, 523…and counting

I know I know. You may be thinking what entry # is this? Where are the other ones?

The rest are in my heart and my mind. It just feels like I should be on that entry number right now. Big emotions can feel like they can’t be counted. Writing is a way I use to process. I am committing to write on a more regular basis. I figure I win either way- I feel better and maybe someone out there needs to know someone can relate

.

Today I went about my day just like I normally would. I didn’t snap or talk to anyone in a mean way. Why does this matter? It matters because sometimes they way we look like on the outside is not how we feel on the inside.

Today as one of my kiddos shared things they had experienced over the last few years, I was angry. I wanted to seek out the person responsible and reassure them that though I have no say over the way they are living their lives, it is not acceptable to create casualties in your journey of destruction. Especially when those casualties have been through some of the toughest moments with you and are younger than you.

More than ever my boundaries I have instituted to protect those I love and serve were affirmed. I felt helpless and broken but fueled and fired up all at the same time.

It is very hard to accept that people willfully choose hard and destructive paths. I am a certified Trauma & Resilience Clinical Practitioner. I understand what trauma can do and I also understand how it can be overcome. Our experiences are carved out by our actions.

I will forever commit to protecting others from the hurricane trauma stirs in the lives of those who are struggling. You are not a sum of your past mistakes. You are not a sum of your today mistakes.

The anger has melted some. I just sort of feel stingy and a little achy. Amid this, I do not lose hope. I know that light is bright, and it travels to the alley ways, basements and crevices of our heart to help us be free.

I love enough to show there is a better way. We can visit the past to get to the future but let’s not get stuck there. Let’s stop pulling others down into the hole of destruction we have dug for ourselves. Let’s stop jumping into holes others have dug for themselves and asking if we can help them dig deeper.

Let’s love the right way. Let’s love enough to say, no.

Sometimes we are standing up for the people we love, but sometimes we are standing UP to the people we love.

And goodnight..